• Physical attraction should never be underestimated; however it cannot stand alone. Intimacy is what sets your relationship apart from any others, so pay attention to that spark, as it should be there naturally.
• On mothering; DON’T! If you find yourself frequently correcting him or offering better choices, you may have stepped into a parenting role.
• Honor yourself by not accepting inconsiderate behavior; consider yourself valuable by speaking up about how you are affected early on, rather than letting disappointments build up.
• Step back and think what you would say about this guy if your friend were dating him, which can be a telltale thumbs up or thumbs down.
What do you value in a relationship? Are there certain qualities that you possess that you’d like reciprocated? These are basic questions you should be asking yourself when searching for a mate. Being in a relationship that is unpredictable and emotionally charged is fun for a while, but when it comes down to it, the caliber of the relationship without the ‘thrill’ can be lacking in substance. I have been there, and I think I’m being honest when I say a lot of other women have been there too.
• Strip down to the basics – without the bells and whistles – is he GOOD? When I say good, I mean bare-bones good. Is he the type who would carry himself the same way regardless of your presence, or your families’ presence? I think the answer to that question speaks volumes about a person.
• Make a list of the qualities you want in a mate. It may be helpful to lay it out on paper, that way you can gain perspective on your past relationships – what was missing in the past and what you ultimately need and want.