Casinos in Lake George would transform village

As of Wednesday, January 30, 2013 -2:02 p.m.

To the Adirondack Journal:

Here’s my new Lake George proposal:

Two new casinos will open in Lake George. Competition is always a good thing. One will be at Roaring Brook Ranch and other will be at the top of Prospect Mountain. The two will be connected by a monorail that will also connect to downtown Lake George, formally known as the Village.

The west side of Canada Street will now be home to numerous "speak easy" establishments, sort of on the line of New Orleans. The sidewalks are wide enough to handle to flow of drunken patrons — so the local zoning steering committee will not need to worry about promoting foot traffic.

All brothels will be behind the six- and eight-story buildings on the west side of the street. Amber lighting will indicate a house of ill repute. The amber lighting will give an Adirondack feel unlike the bright red lights in most red-light districts. Also, nice curtains must be on the windows, as to not go against the mayor’s request for boarding up vacant-looking storefronts.

Also, all former, current and future elected officials will be entitled to a 24.6% discount at theses establishments — It’s always good to throw in a little pork in these deals.

The festival area at the new West Brook Park will now become two parking garages. One will be for families and the other will be for the rest of the people.

All "working girls" are to be off the street while students are being dropped off or picked up at school. Fishnet stockings are against the law during daylight hours — on not only women but men. These are ideas I got when I went to Hamburg, Germany. These restrictions reportedly work well there.

Lake George’s downtown courthouse will once again become a real courthouse because we will need it with all the crime that accompanies casinos. Also, one of the nearby hotels will be converted into a jail.

Denpubs.com

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