With my full plate, I set down across from the man and started in to sup. "Some hat," I said, aiming my fork between the ma and pa Pilgrim salt and peppershakers, toward the man's fox hat.
With an accent thick as frozen roof pitch, he spoke.
"The hat 'tiz bin up the addik eveh since. I doan gowup thayaire, 'fraid a dusst n' cludder. I'ymabit clahhstrafobic ... doan loike smawll areahs," he said.
He was hard to understand, but well worth the work it took to converse.
"I wuz hungree. Tole the ole ladee I wuz headed to et, to a Pot Luck dinnir, I tole er. She sed 'hoew long yew be?' Tole er I didn't know, tole er the dinnir was in Purdyville. She said, 'Waire the fox hat!'"
Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act "The Logger." His column appears weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO