Halloween is kid's stuff

Halloween doesn't register highly with me. It never did mean much to me. I saw through this autumnal "holiday" at age 10. I knew it was an event manufactured to make money.

Today, Halloween promotes ghouls and bad nutrition. Littler fellers dress up like maulers and little girls dress up like-well, pop-star floozies (at least the little girls that don't dress like bunnies).

I quit trick-or-treating after age 10. Neither had I gotten a load of sour candy or stale chocolate nor was I scared off by razor blades in an apple (I noticed the razor's handle sticking out just before I bit in). I just quit trick-or-treating. Cold turkey.

As a kid, I wasn't interested in-

Walking around Vermont in 20-degree weather in a thin costume, freezing and overheating simultaneously, wearing a plastic mask with brittle sharp edges held to my face with a rubberband that dug into my cheek bones while some old smelly lady-who gave me raisins and pennies-lifted the mask so she could, and I quote from memory, "see the cute little mug hidden behind there", and the rubberband connected to the mask by tiny silver metal things on each end that would tangle up within your hair when the smelly old lady lifted the mask to see your flushed mug, and to get it untangled you'd have to remove the mask, and the rubber band with the tiny silver metal things at the ends pulled your hair out, which hurt like a raving bitch, and when the smelly old lady helped she made it worse, she yanked and you squealed and she startled which made her more determined to untangled the mask, and you felt her smelly old lady strength which a nine year old shouldn't ever feel because no nine year old should ever know smelly old ladies are strong as miners.

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