I've been doing this newspaper column for, ah, I'm not a good recordkeeper, but I'm going to say it started before my dad died-he died in 2005-so, we'll call it 2004.
I wondered a time or two within the six years if I'd ever come up dry in the topic department. Now, because I don't write about one topic, like my newspaper companion the outer space guy, I'm not a specialist (like I had to tell you that?). And while I'd never be confused for being a great writer, I do consider myself as having a half-way fertile mind. I'm better than average at making something out of nothing (my "Hair on Soap" and "Snapping" columns are evidence of that). I've always found something I wanted to scrawl.
But this week, I'll tell you, I'm already beyond the time I normally have a piece under way, and I have yet to think of a topic to scrawl.
It's not that I'm too busy; I've never used my schedule as an excuse for not coming through with a piece. I did a column the week my dad died and even offered to keep a prior booking to perform a show on the night of his funeral. It's simply that every time I started to look ahead to the column, I didn't follow through with the thought.
This week I am three days past when I normally start working on my weekly piece. So, if you don't mind, take what follows as me trying to make something out of nothing-
I go to the gym... Wait. Before I continue, I wonder-should I even call it a gym? Is gym a word anymore? Was it ever a word? Do people still go to the gym? What does the word gym mean? Where does it come from? Gymnasium, I guess. And if gym does mean something, are there gyms-plural? And why do we not pronounce the g in gym the way we pronounce the g in gum? Cause we'd sound like actress Marlee Matlin, I guess.