Not a very good example for the kids is it, Barack?
And everyone says how smart Barack is.
If he's so smart wouldn't you'd think he'd be smart enough to figure out he might be wise to stop smoking and like, take up tinkerin' around with interns or something? (In the show, tinkerin' around with interns is replaced by something else. Guess what the something else is, insert it, read it again, then get mad at yourself for guessing it correctly and laughing, instead of at me for writing it)
I'm not thinking ol' Barack will tinker around with interns 'cause he's married to Michelle; she's no joke with them arms, and if she gets wind he's tinkering around with interns, ol' Michelle would smoke Barack. Yup, Michelle'd toss a few picnic tables out onto the West Wing lawn, invite the Republicans over and have herself a Barack Obarmaque. Followed up with a Barack Obombfire. She'd say, "You wanted to smoke Barack, there you go, you're smokin' now."
I feel sorry for Barack.
He's the leader of the free world, the most powerful man in the universe, and he lives with his mother-in-law. Yeah, Michelle's ma lives with them in the White House.
He's got his ma-in-law, Michelle, his two daughters, Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi sniffin' around his behind all the time.
Stop smoking cigarettes, heck, I'm pretty sure in a few weeks he's going to need to take up smoking weed. Get to his Blackberry, text his old Chicago buddy Mayor Marion Barry and order up some grass-ease his nerves a little bit.
(Here again is an edit. In the show I replace weed with something that former Chicago Mayor Marion Barry enjoyed on hidden camera. It's white and rhymes with flack. It's a more harsh choice and I feel like writing it would be over the top, but man oh man, how folks think it's funny when I say it on stage. Folks just like you.)