I'm throwin' my baseball cap in the ring!

Where other candidates might stop, I'll continue.

I want to be governor, 'cause crap, how cool would that be? How much more to be a hit at dinner parties will my sis in New Mexico be after telling everyone that her brother is Vermont's new governor.

I get my own driver. I get great pay and benefits. They'll paint a big picture of me in the capitol. I get to attend cool parties in Washington (where I'll get to meet celebrities). And a good job done could springboard me into a national senate seat (high school for misfits?). With at least 50 percent more pay and an almost lock on a long-term seat. It might be hard work and it's far from home, but chances are they'll name a building or two after me. Once I retired, I'd get a killer pension. I gotta admit, my reasons to run for governor include all those things. Wouldn't yours? You know where I stand. Vote for me!

Next year's race will be full and frantic; plain speak should be welcome, but will hardly be on display. We'll have candidates talking about either a new, or the same old national health care system (who will know very little if anything at all about the plan's specifics). They'll blip and blap about this and that and the handful of voters who spend any time trying to decipher what the candidates stand for will be hard pressed to recognize any difference between what's real or imagined. But by gosh, those who vote will pick someone to vote for just the same.

On the stump, you can ask me about health care and I'll say: I'll put my thoughtfully chosen crack team of health advisors on it, but in the meantime I'll work tirelessly on illness prevention, on educating Vermont's precious population on proper nutrition, rest and exercise.

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