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May the peace prize be with you

Don't go by me though, I don't understand awards. Like the Academy awards, the Oscars? What jokes they are. That entire Oscar mess was built to promote the industry, which it does handsomely. But how can the Academy, with a straight face and clear conscious, award one actor and actress over all others as having performed better in a particular role? It's gol darned outlandish. Awards crack me up. Course, I win an Oscar, I'd there with bells on. But I'd still not think I'm any better at acting then the local postal clerk playing the lead in his community theatre's annual fall production of "The Sound of Music."

Let's be careful though to remember that there are trivial awards, that are bestowed, and there are legitimate awards, that are earned.

Purple Heart? You get yourself awarded one of those, you earned it. You win a medal in the Olympics, way to go, you're deserving, unless there was a screw up in the timing, or some hanky-panky with judging (I'm sure politics plays a part there too unfortunately). But to award a politician for some sort of work they've done, which by the way is the work they promised us during their campaign that they felt fortunate and blessed and honored to be able to do, is simply unnecessary.

I feel about awards the same way I feel about calling oneself an artist: If you call yourself an artist because you write poetry, or fiction, or you act, or sculpt, or paint, or play an instrument, I'm sure you're welcome, but you best also call your plumber an artist for the fine touch he or she applied while sweating together your hot-water boiler's copper pipe joints.

What about the person who mows your lawn and leaves behind mow patterns so wavy and uniform that you spend evening after evening after dinner staring at them? Isn't he or she an artist too? I'd say. We're all artists to a point. The developmentally disabled dude needing full-time care who combs his hair into a pompadour, the likes of which Elvis would be proud of, is quite a fine artist too, wouldn't you say? Well then, give him the Pompadour Award for gosh sakes.

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