Essex 11/28

I am tired of some people always acting like there is only one hamlet in the town. Maybe its time for District #2 to withdraw from "Concernedcitizenville." After all, we have a fire station, transportation equipment and barns, people who talk to each other, access to more water front than most towns in the county and the largest public meeting hall in eastern Essex County. What we don't have, however, are any "concerned citizens," but I expect we can acquire a few on loan until we can train our own. Further, I propose we include former Boquet, Whallons Bay, Whallonsburg and Brookfield hamlets in the new hamlet.

I understand that Jay Madigan has a selling contract on his house in Toms River, N.J. It must be a gut wrenching experience for Jay because he will have to give up his high-ranking position on the Insectropolis, Toms River's fun loving center for insects. Maybe we can talk Jay into forming one in Essex?

Driving down the hill last week, I noticed that the bark was missing from a significant number of trees. At first I thought it was blight or insect attack but later in the evening I saw people hugging some trees which supported my belief that tree-huggers are dangerous. As everyone knows, trees, like dogs, can not survive without a bark. Save our trees by hugging organic rocks instead. Oh, hugging trees on a cliff is really dangerous especially if it is a slippery elm.

The world famous Essex Community Methodist Church Bazaar is scheduled for Dec. 5, with oodles of food, gifts, a specially prepared calendar by the Town historian, and a Hit-the-Supervisor-or-Board-Member-in-the-Eye-with-a-Pie Contest. All monies go to my trust fund. The Pleasant Valley Choral will present a tonsil bending concert on Dec. 11 at 7:30 p.m. In other cultural news, Bill Kissam and I are in the midst of organizing a "hollerin" contest for next year. More later.

While Jimmy Looby of Wadhams is stationed at Fort Hood, he was able to make a 20-second call to parents and tell them not to worry. Seems he was in a tank on maneuvers. How could wars be fought without cell phones?

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