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The sum of all fears

Fear H1N1

Fear the press

Fear our neighbors

Fear Obama

Fear Bush

Fear time

Fear job loss

Fear organization

Fear responsibility

Fear possibility

Fear authority

Fear religion

Fear atheists

Fear Fox News

Fear opposition

Fear butter

Fear fiber

Fear health

Fear patience

Fear headaches

Fear zero balance

Or...

Meditate on words my 99-year-old Aunt Laura, in a euphoric state of dementia, shared as I knelt at her bedside: "Keep all your things in order and your manners right, then you can lay your head down on the bed with a clear conscious. And it's such a pleasure to do."

I repeated her last line, "And it's such a pleasure to do." She repeated it. "And it's such a pleasure to do." We traded the line two more times apiece.

At the very least, the line is a pleasure to speak.

Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act "The Logger." His column appears weekly. He can be reached at rustyd@pshift.com. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO or visit his website at www.thelogger.com

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