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Speed limit intolerance

"Try 83," the officer said, shaking his head. He lowered his sunglasses and eyed me. "Why aren't you wearing a seatbelt?"

I gasped. "I took it off when I pulled over," I said, my voice cracking. "I swear."

The cop shook his head again and went back to his cruiser with my license and registration. When he finally returned, he ticketed me for a seatbelt violation - a much less serious offense than a speeding violation, he said. I didn't know if this was true (I still don't; remember, I refuse to do research), but - feeling less like Sammy Hagar with each word I spoke - I thanked him and promised to drive 64 the rest of the way home.

And I kept my word, too. My car's interior was ruined - what with all the vomiting and self-soiling - but I kept my word.

Dan Leonidas makes shallow observations. He can be reached at dpleonidas@yahoo.com or myspace.com/lastminuteconcerns.

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