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Essex 6/20/09

An avid reader has supplied this week's Question of the Week. What do the red, white, and blue colors stand for on the American Flag? Answer next week.

You know a lot of people are getting excited about their hybrid cars. And that's understandable when you consider the miles per gallon they get. But I am most concerned about what this country will do with 750,000 batteries in about 6 years. Well, the only thing I can think of is that we can hire Wall-E to stack them up in NYC. It's archenteron is so ugly everyone will think it's a new skyscraper, and no one will ever notice that it is a gigantic pile of used batteries. If they leak, as they will, well it will only be into the Hudson River, which is so clogged up that some more gunks will be unseen, unless Pete Segar finds out about it. But since Pete is 90+ he might not be getting around much.

Dianne Lansing got a gold medal for showing up in Lake Placid with her highbred car. I don't know how much completion there was, but I am sure that congrats are due to Dianne and her red car.

For those too lazy to look up words in the Oxford English Dictionary, or had Miss Baron as an English teacher, I'll explain the phraseology that caused some consternation last week. Pulphonious proto-sociomanic-radicalitica experience indicates a first sign of group mania veering into written or spoken radical forms. A deconstructed minipolylogical mignitic topdshiganically-induced reiteration means that the mania is extended into tackiness intended to reduce the need to repeat yourself over and over again. Now a myophicalitiacalnistic (from the Greek kalioblos) setaceous detamand implies that you then experience into an insect (cockroach of course) and acted out by skipping around. There; that ought to take care of you with so little faith.

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