Almost everyone has felt hurt or insulted by someone in their lives. Occasionally, someone really gets under your skin and then we feel righteous in our anger. We tell ourselves that this instance is different and that there is no forgiving and no letting go.
Anger is not an alchemy that will ever make you well. Sadly, I know people that have held grudges that go all the way back to grade school. It's of little consequence what the genesis of your anger is; an unfaithful partner, an egotistical boss or a disloyal friend; the effect is the same.
Holding on to anger is like feeding yourself poison and hoping that someone else will get sick. If someone has made you angry and has not apologized or has not appealed to you for forgiveness, chances are they do not know that they have hurt you or they know and do not care that they have hurt you. In both instances you are left powerless.
Holding on to anger can make you sick emotionally and physically. Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, has been researching the connection between forgiveness and physiology for fifteen years. The outcome of his work identified that less-forgiving people suffer more chronic illnesses. Heart disease, diabetes and an array of other diseases are profoundly affected by holding grudges because grudges are experienced in the body as another form of stress.
An important first step is rescripting the story that plays in your head when you think of your grudge. Holding on to a grudge maintains you in a fixed position as a victim and giving over your energy and power to your grudge and to the person that has offended you. By recasting your story, you empower yourself to write an ending or a happy ending. You take the power back.