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In the comfort food zone

Meat loaf, mashed potatoes, goulash, grilled cheese, Campbell's canned tomato soup-stuff when I was a kid we'd look at and say, "Oh, Ma, we gotta eat this crap again?"

Now Martha Stewart's got us payin' big money to eat that same stuff because she's named it comfort food.

I imagine Martha, with $20 million in the bank and houses scattered all over the world, a bowl of Campbell's canned tomato soup tastes pretty good. But when you're pouring concrete 60 hours a week for 290 bucks take-home, Campbell's tomato soup just taste like tinny catsup-that's if you stir in some comfort milk.

So, rich people, go ahead and sell us all the designer comfort food you want, long as we can have a taste of your granddaddy' inheritance comfort money-

"Hey Homer, how'd you afford that in-ground swimmin' pool?"

"Why, we bought it with Martha's great granddad's inheritance comfort money. I tell ya Joe, it's nice having a pool you don't have to climb a wall to get into."

Cheap ground beef, instant mashed taters, canned corn and grey gravy. 1970s all-you-can-eat Sheppard's Pie, $2.50 a plate at the local diner. Show of hands, how many of you rich people in the '70s would have come within 10 miles of Sheppard's Pie? Only one hand up, eh? Must be you're old money.

Now at them fancy food stores, same Sheppard's Pie, and rich people throw in some garlic and a few capers, call it comfort food, and charge the poor folks 18 bucks a pound for it.

Them rich people are smart; they serve the poor folks comfort food-goulash, cream chipped beef on toast-thinking the poor folks won't be able to stop eatin' it and they'll get so fat they won't be able to walk down to town meeting and vote against the rich people.

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