"There you go Toaster, be free ... " I said, as the "Born Free" theme song played in my head and a tear stung my cold cheek.
Toaster sauntered slowly from the cage, climbed the nearest pine tree and looked down. Then, he growled at me as if to say "thanks for nothing."
So, I grabbed my 12-gauge from its hiding spot under the back seat, pulled it to my shoulder and filled the filthy little dog-eared varmint full of lead.
"Ha, ha ... ha,ha,ha ... ha," I cackled as the stench of gun powder hung heavy in the air.
Okay, not really. Toaster is my chum and maybe, just maybe, he may return the favor someday.
Not the part about locking me in a little cage, but the free rent, "Born Free" part.
Now to deal with that hedgehog ...
John Gereau is managing editor of Denton Publications and an avid outdoorsman. His column appears weekly ... very weakly.