A letter to dad

I'm thinking of you up here in Maine because this place was a part of your life in its penultimate stage.

I'm thinking of you because thinking of you is thinking of myself, creeping within two years of the big Five-0, the age you were when I was born.

I've held that mark as a midlife check point and now that it's almost in sight, I find myself thinking of the dreams, regrets, and fantasies that occupied your soul as you lived out your midlife years.

I'd like to know what those thoughts were, because if I knew I'd be steps ahead of myself in terms of being able to properly set up the middle and ending of my life-then I'd live them out as well as you did yours.

You and Ma had it all-kids, friends, a home, health, Harold the cat, money, food, fun, and rest. You had it all it seemed, and I truly believe this, without the worries and difficulties that so many folks these days appear to wrestle with. How did you and Ma pull it off?

If I had paid more attention to your inner philosophies and spiritual make-up, I wouldn't be so curious, now would I?

Maybe it's just Maine, all foggy and misty and moving-picture-perfect that has me digging up my deepest feelings of the great memories that were the days and times of our family's young life.

Yup, that's it, Maine in late autumn is a romantic place, and up here working, performing shows, alone, leaves me more than enough time to rummage around in my head and heart for answers that are mostly clear and apparent.

Ha-Dad, when I get back to good ol' earnest Vermont, I'll remember that I'm basically you; all the things you thought and taught are seated way down in my soul, ready to be lived out with glee.

Bill DeWees-my Dad. Thanks. You made it easy for me, to make it easy.

Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act "The Logger." His column appears weekly. He can be reached at rustyd@pshift.com. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO or visit his website at www.thelogger.com

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