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A bad feeling

To the editor: Perhaps it has slipped past everyones perspicacity about the tribulations in the Midwest? It seems no one perceived that Bush moved Iowa, Illinois and Wisconsin together subjecting to reprisal more easily? This amalgamation of states votes Donkey with regularity. Just how did they get this communal border? Ah, Bush had Rove moved them last month. For pure malice, look for Karl Roves surreptitious weather manipulation; who else commands these satanic elements? Having Vice President Cheney weaken the levees with his stents was brilliant. What is surprising is that Bush hasnt renamed Cedar Rapids to Cedar Lake or Great Cedar Pool. He still has time. Criticism from the liberals is forthcoming. If Bush wants to show he truly understands the nature of the problem, they articulate, hell demand the U.N. take over, while we ply them with our national treasure a sort of a universal food for less water schema under their auspices. In exchange for the worlds help, a few maidens of select young citizenry are offered to prevent the Blue Beret from pillaging our countryside. Reid, Dirtbin, and Pelosi surely will be glad to act as disinterested parties. Following the lead of the Obamadhis, this troika will dole out a variety of adjunct jobs, at high salaries, to deserving Donks for showing up. The frontrunners for profit in this are: Big Corn and Big Oil. Foodstuffs and biofuel prices will spike. Women and children are the first to starve, then the poor die since they use only fossil-fueled vehicles. Big Corn has no heart. Your redemption occurs when you drive your alternative-fuel vehicle to the store to fight for that last bag of organic whole-wheat flour. At least you can bake it in your alternative oven, probably fueled by pedigreed dog dung. Thanks to the Eco-nazis for their help with this predicament particularly the Sierra Club, the World Wildlife Fund and Al Gore. Please join us in a light Sudanese brunch of mealy bugs and grass stems. Jump on your G-Vs; fly down for the festivities. Ed Mann, Waltham

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