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Do Not Top Off, but I do anyway

Its illegal to top off but I do. Sorry Barack, Hillary, Mitt, you all, Governor Douglas, sorry but I do, most usually anyway, if Im not in a hurry, always have. When I top off Im a wild man, Im Steve McQueen. I dare when I top off to standup to every rule ever stated, and as a guy who lives within the scope of what is legal, topping off is a boon to my manliness. They tell us to not top off because its better for us not to. Its getting old this them telling us whats better for us. You and I know whats better for us. Telling us to not top off is one of their Pavlovs training exercises in getting us to fall in, and the more we fall in, the more we slowly fall in more. The danger of course is that well fall all the way in. DO NOT TOP OFF, is written on the shoulder of the gas nozzle, youve seen it hundreds of times. When you read it do you laugh out loud and top off anyway? I do because I pay my bills on time, I pray, I dont covet, I give to social services, I read labels, I dont commit adultery more than a couple of times with the same women, I stretch, Ill take my colonoscopy with a smile when its time, I pay my bills (sorry, already said that), and I didnt get into a sub-prime mortgage mess. I do so many things Im told to do, so goshamitt, if I want to round-off the dollar amount on the gas pump by topping off, and it takes breaking the rules to do it, Im not going to hesitate. Expensive gas isnt a boon but only for if you think about it it happens to make topping off an cinch. Used to be when gas was down in the one dollar and something cents a gallon range and the nozzle shut off at well under an even buck amount, say $20.27, youd click and click the filler lever, and click and click it again, and the cents, agonizingly slow, would finally get up to .50, and since you made it that far you thought Hell no, I aint wanting to get even two quarters back from the Cumbies register person cause I dont want to wait till the poor cuss of a middle school night janitor whose buying megabucks tickets and cigs and booze, is all rung out and on his way because that could take two minutes and at 1 a.m. after being on the road all day and doing shows and working it, I want to just be able to go in there and shout my total, Twenty-one dollars, drop my money on the counter, and get on my way, so I want to top off up to $21.00 even and I keep clicking and clicking the filler nozzle lever a couple cents at a time and as it nears $20.75 cents I can only squeeze a cent in per click, so I wait for the gas to swill down the filler tube to make room and I click and click the lever only a half cent at a time and I click and click the lever more but now only a half of a half cent at a time so now Im up at $20.90 cents and only need 10 more cents which might take me 20 clicks and 5 wait sessions which I act on, and ta da, I finally have my tank well over full, against-the-rules-full, at $21.00. But now with gas at $3.20 a gallon, shoot, a single click on the filler nozzle lever raises you 15 cents, so when it stops pumping on its own at $20.27, thats no more than about 5 or so clicks to top off. The more gas costs, the quicker I become Steve McQueen.

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