5.A book on how to live 100% organically. I'm not sure it's better for you than living inorganically, but I'm two years shy of fifty and feeling I want to cover all the bases.
6. Clackers. Think 70's Sant.
7. Make #3 on the list happen with Sarah Palin.
8. A Burton Love board.
(Santa, gifts 7 and 8 are so when folks ask, and I tell them what I got for Christmas, I'll get more of a reaction then if I answered ("oh, underwear.")
9. An enhanced ability to make people happy.
11. Personal Chef
(Reference #5.) Actually, don't hook me up with the book on organic living because in less than five years they'll be telling us organically grown food isn't any better for us after all. In place of that book, get me a book that will make me appear attractive to musically talented women.
12. Twelve drummers drumming. But only if they're musically talented women.
Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act "The Logger." His column appears weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO or visit his website at www.thelogger.com