Olympian feats

I lived in Manhattan for 11 years, the final five of which I spent acting for money. I include the mention of money because there are those folks who will act for free. At a point in my life I thought, why do something for free when I can be paid? Do I sound a little like a jerk, me, this guy who prioritizes payment for performance? Better I ask you if my mechanic sounds a little like a jerk for years ago realizing he could be paid to do to other folks cars the same stuff that for years he had done to his car, for free. I told my mechanic that Larry the Cable Guy (redneck comedian), gets $200,000 a show to perform at large state fairs. My mechanic thought there was something very wrong with that; he wondered why some fat dude telling jokes about other fat dudes makes that crazy amount of money, while people that actually work for a living are barely getting by? I asked him to tally the amount hed make if he could do $10,000 oil changes in the course of two hours. An oil change is what, $40? If the fair can put ten thousand fannies in the seats for Larrys show and pay him 200k, then Larrys servicing each person for half what an oil change is. Larrys fee related to the amount of service he provides seems fair to me. Many aspects of life are dictated by numbers. Seeing it in those terms evens the income score so to speak, no? That Michael Phelps guy winning all those swimming awards is something. I heard he eats 10-12,000 calories a day. Makes me wonder if there arent a few very heavy people thinking, Dang, I eat that many calories and all I get is fat. There you have it very heavy people, take up swimming, do it 365 days a year, 8 hours a day, and your body too can be cut like Michael Phelps body. Calories consumed, equals calories burned, simple numbers. The Olympics are ironically inspiring to watch as we sit for hours in our favorite chair, still, like so many large plods of mud. Are you getting in better shape by watching the swim events? I am. Im also picking up tips on how to swim better, which is good, cause I cant swim a lick. I can maybe, maybe, dog paddle across a hot tub, but only because my feet touch, and only if my life depends on it. The Olympic swimmers look beyond impressive powerfully skimming themselves three feet above the wake, but I dont care cause I look cute doing the doggy paddle. Some guys carry a puppy around to pick up girls, not me, I go to the local pool and bust out me some doggy paddle. Youve seen footage of the chipmunk dressed like a Mexican water-skiing right? Cute huh? I dont want to brag, but me doggie paddling ten times cuter. A critical eye on the Olympic coverage warns of the premium treatment/coverage, they attach to the winners. I say young kids, beware of societys love affair with winning. Michael Phelps is the best ever, and for that reason hell experience many of the best and most beautiful things life has to offer. He should, and you should, if you become the best at something (Larry the Cable Guy, Paul Newman, Lance Armstrong,), beware of the price one must pay for being the best. Everything in life has a way of evening out, and if youre that far on top, sadly you may experience a similarly awesome bunch of lows to even your lifes journey. Either that or because youre so blessed, youll be called on to give more service than an average person, so be prepared. The television coverage of Michael Phelps is way, way over the top. Last night he and three of his mates won their final relay race, and watching the coverage after the race you would have thought Michael Phelps raced with three ghosts. On the stand as the U.S. anthem played, the cameras gave the other three swimmers little screen time. Hey kids, be inspired by Michael Phelps. At the same time, keep your eyes on the losers cause many of them, in a relative sense, may be achieving as much, or even much more then Michael Phelps could ever imagine. NBC wont tell you about them, because its all about numbers, and winning sells. Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act The Logger. His column appears weekly. He can be reached at rustyd@pshift.com. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO or visit his website at www.thelogger.com

Vote on this Story by clicking on the Icon


Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.

Sign in to comment