I saw Ole Earl the other day, oddly enough in the center of town. Before I could even say hey he started in on a rant that was meant more for himself then anyone else. Im countin secints till these leaves fall off. Bring on the hard rains and hurry up n fall off gol dang ya. They dont need to fall off right off up in the teakies where know one is, an where I was born, an where women still cook with pots and pans and sew with needle and thread. They need ta fall off here where all the down country sons-a-hammer heads zar walkin roun with their heads pointed ta the ground to watch their step they dont trip, when theyre sposed to be faces up looking at the leaves cause they paid to. I want the leaves to fall off down here in Stowe and Waterbury and lots of towns, where lots of us have to run the roads. Cripes if I have a Monday appointment in Waterbury, 17 miles from my partment, I have to leave Sunday evening early ta get there on time, and even by doing that Im still late cause a all the cars slinkied up goin to see apples sqwuuzed down ta cider, or them two Jewish fellers peggin left over Halloween candy inta the ice cream and whatnot an everythin else. So rain like ole Charley the Dickens and let the winds howl cause I want bare assed trees, and now. And anyway what can them folks see out of them tinted bus windows? If I cant see in um, they cant see out um. And I cant see in um, so they cant see the leaves. Or they see the leaves, but they see em tinted. Whats the point? Be like pettin a cat with a glove on. Youre telling me them folks even look out the windows a them buses? They dont. Theyre sittin in there jabberin a line a BS about their next doctors appointment zwhat theyre doin. Theyre all retired n on social insecurity and you tell me they aint re-livin the days ridin school bus home from a late game and all tryin to get after each other what with the presence of Viagree and that stuff? You think ole folks lose the hankerin to breed? Youre wrong Jose. Them ole folk leaf-looking-at bus tours are nothing but highly sexual senior citizen rumpus rides. You tell me they aint. Theyre not here to look at leaves. They get all pent up cause this one likes that one and he dont like her, its like high school. Then what ends up happenin is they take it all out on buyin trinkets at them good for nothing trinket sellin shops they got now that used to be houses where folks lived. I tried to walk through a throng of them peepers and I was banging off em like a mini-pin bowling ball, cause theyre rotund you know, and I become fed up with it and hollered out, Dont you folks have leaves where you live? One women, she had a pretty good gut on her, and I could see by how she stood that some days she has good balance and others she dont, and I was hoping today she did when she toddled toward me and said, Yes we have leaves at home. So I told her to go ahead back home and look at her leaves. Then she shook the pointer finger on her right hand in my face, and while she was falling over blurted, But we dont have trinkets. Ahhhwah its a sickning mess. This is what ole age offers?? Wheres my shotgun? Point me to it and Ill point it at me, and booom, Ill blast my cranium to kingdom come, right in front of a whole squad a them leaf peepers. Then theyll see color. I quite often judge to harshly. Probably better off blame the leaves then the ole folks cause the ole folks are just doin whats good for themselves which is theyre doin. Gotta keep doin. Do things. Leaves dont want to stay green all their lives, ole folks can only watch Price is Right reruns for so long, so the leaves and the ole folks do whats best for both and come together to amount to a phenomenon that aggravates us what live roun here. Yeah, yeah, its money put to the conomy too, but money isnt everything. Rather each of the ole sons a cusses donate their windbreakers for us to use to fill potholes come spring. I give. Happy fall to all. Best stay in though if you live where there are leaves and trinkets both. If you do stay in keep busy. I said to Ole Earl, Never thought Id find you in the center of town today busy as it is. I know, Ole Earl addressed me, I find it fun watchin these folks.