Im getting my taxes done on Sunday. Thats Sunday, April 1. I didnt realize it when I made the appointment but thats April Fools Day. Looks like the jokes on me. I thought about canceling. But thought better of it. In typical Mender fashion, Ive waited too long. Ive done those things which I ought not to have done and not done those things which I ought to have done and the taxman looms. This is the first year Ive ever had my taxes done by a professional tax service. Things are a little more complicated this year. Im not sure how they got that way. I used to be a 1040EZ kind of guy. Ten minutes with a No. 2 pencil and my taxes were good to go.
Not anymore. With two kids in college, a second job, a home business with office expenses, mileage, depreciation, amortization, an ex-wife, two cats and a dog, the tax picture this year is a little more complex.
So I decided maybe Id turn it over to a professional. That and I wanted to have people. H&R Block promises people if I have them do my taxes. Who wouldnt want people? Were all lonely at heart, arent we?
So Sunday, April 1, April Fools Day to be exact, Ill take my folder full of miscellaneous receipts and my yellow legal pad full of chicken scratch and head down to the converted store front office next to the laundromat and let the people with people work magic with my taxes.
Magic is a relative thing.
Its not that Im expecting a refund. I just dont want to pay. The way I see it, the longer I hold on to my cash and the government doesnt, the better off I am. So if I break even, that will be magical enough. Ill be thrilled and call it good. Its April 1 and this late in the game, Id settle for fools gold.
Howling at the Moon appears regularly in Denton Publication newspapers. When Mike Mender isnt scrounging under the seats of his car for old gas receipts, he may be reached via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org